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Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent of water

And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes

you cannot even breathe deeply, and

the night sky is no home, and

you have cried yourself to sleep enough times

that you are down to your last two percent, but

         nothing is infinite,

            not even loss.

You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day

you're gonna find yourself again

{F. Butler}

***

Ed Sheeran and tumblr at 10am is therapeutic when you've got a heart full despair. It kinda nurses that dull ache in my chest.  

2015 is a year I wanna spend traveling. I want to feel close to the nature - get a sun kissed tan, hair that smells of ocean, sleep on the grass, walk in the rain, be surrounded by people who shares a different mother tongue, get lost in the sea of strangers, stay in the cold until my lips turn blue.

I want to go on more adventures. Be around good energy, connect with people, learn new things, grow.

I want to address this insecurity I have so that I can finally stop being so afraid of everything.

I want to run a full marathon so that I can tell myself that, if I can finish 42km all on my own, nothing else can bring me down. I want to get used to them muscle aches because heart, is too made of muscles and whether it is at the legs or heart, these aches should, more or less, feel about the same.

I want to feel pretty inside out so that I can love myself first before I learn how to fall in love again.

Totally contradicting the me yesterday but today,
today I hope that 2015 will be a good year.